Believe In Yourself

Let’s start with a quote that I (Jayson) remember from a sermon that my pastor gave a while a back: “If you believe in something, you will invest in it.” It got me thinking and wondering what I believe in and what we invest in. Personally I like to buy clothing that I feel will last forever and quite high quality so that it will withstand a snowstorm, even though I have not been in one. I’m not very devoted to brands, but there are a couple brands I really like. One brand is Under Armour, I have an affinity for Under Armor, I love how it’s snuggly super tight and is made to take a beating. I’ve been wearing the same one for 10K runs, a marathon and 2 mud runs. I also have a couple more, but I like keeping them cleaner. Under Armor also supports MMA, I mean I’ve gone into the Under Armor outlet thinking I’m not going to buy anything and BAM! Picture of GSP wearing Under Armor and I’ve spent money on more compression shirts. I believe in Under Armor because I like sports, science backed clothing and MMA.

This is not a commercial, but more what I mean when I say what it means to believe in something and invest in too. This also got me thinking a much bigger question: “Do I believe in myself?” If I believe in myself, then I should be investing in myself. When I say investing, I do not mean buying stuff for myself, but investing in myself. When you invest, it’s not always a sure thing, just like when you invest in a house, a car, even an expensive piece of clothing, you do not know if you’ll make money back on it or if what you invest in will last a long time. You just have to believe and trust that it will. I guess it’s just kind of how God invests in me and believes in me, WAAAY before I believed and invest into Him. Even when I was thrown around in crazy concerts and being a not so good kid, God must have had a pretty good insurance policy on me too, with all the crazy stuff I still do. 

I’m saying this because it’s my last week at my job and then I’m going back to school. I haven’t gone to school for full-time in 4 years. Going back to school is an investment and thank goodness for loving parents who support me. Andriah said she’s also fine with only having Top Ramen and McDonalds too (totally joking, we’re still going for food adventures for sure!). In leaving my job I got myself a gift. Ready for another advertisement? It’s a shirt from a brand called Flag Nor Fail. Andriah know I really like this brand. It’s founded by Rob Bailey and his wife Dana Linn Bailey and they BELIEVE in their brand, product and their process. Everything is hand printed and made with care. You can also tell that Rob takes pride in his work, loves his work and works HARD. Oh and Dana Linn Bailey is Miss Olympia Physique 2013. I got the shirt as a representation that if I’m going to invest and believe in myself, that I have to work REALLY CRAZY SUPER hard, but also love and enjoy the process and take pride in what I do. 

This post is to tell YOU to believe in YOURSELF and to invest in YOURSELF and chase your dreams and goals. It will take some sacrifice, uncomfortability, facing fears and challenges, (I’m scared to death going back to school) but I know that I’ll be smiling throughout this whole process because it will be MY JOURNEY and MY PROCESS. I invite you to begin YOUR JOURNEY and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

Andriah Doing Her Best Rob Bailey Impression

I do not usually post photos, but Andriah looks REALLY good in my shirt (she looks good in anything). 

Keep you guys posted!

– BPaL



“Screw Paleo”, my friend (the master chef) said as he put another freshly made potato chip from Smokehouse Sandwich Co. right before heading to our friend’s wedding. We were discussing diets, the vast varieties of them and the restricting natures of them. I’m not saying I’m against diets, but I do believe in listening to your body before listening to an idea, a practice or a process. If you do diets or make a lifestyle changes, not just in eating habits, but in anything in life, to do it wisely and not follow everything suggested religiously. Someone else’s success story is not YOUR success story, YOU are in charge, YOU make decisions, YOU are in control.

I’m (Jayson) saying this because I have dealt with dieting, fasting, cutting out certain food groups, weight gain, weight loss and everything that comes with it. I also want to share a tidbit about what I have learned in through my journey. Andriah knows I like numbers, though I totally did not do well at math, but I’ll tell my story in numbers.

200- pounds, my heaviest weight. You know how some people get the “freshman 15”? I think I got the freshman 30. Going to university, I was a little bigger than most, but not overweight, I exercised a bit in High School, but I was slightly unhealthy with an unhealthy love for Coca-cola. When I was in university, I moved away from home and given a debit card and barely any knowledge about healthy eating and nutrition, so let the feeding frenzy begin! All-you-can-eat anything and fast foods became my “diet” and it started to quickly detriment my health. I also hurt my knee, so I could not exercise either, a double whammy of unhealthy. I would wake up in the middle of the night coughing and wheezing due to the extra weight on my organs and whatnot, feeling sluggish and tired a lot. I’m also 5′ 9″, so being 200 is not healthy for my frame. I knew something had to change.

6- Pack, many guys’ fitness goal and when I was 19-20, it was definitely mine. Another friend made a youtube video saying that he would get a 6 pack in 6 weeks, of course he did not achieve the goal, but it did inspire me to start back on being healthy, or at least back my weight before I left for university (170 lbs.) and I started heading back to the gym and started exercising again. I also started to cook for myself too instead of going out to eat. The Food network is great to watch during cardiovascular exercise and it looked fun to make food, so I tried out some recipes and cooking became fun and not a chore. The combination of exercise and cooking for myself equaled me losing weight and would’t you know, a slight trace of a 6-pack! It took a lot longer than 6 weeks, but never having a 6-pack before, I was quite impressed with myself and others took notice to my weight loss.

150- pounds, my lightest and scariest weight. Here’s the thing that happened to me about weight loss and body image: it becomes an addiction. Not like healthy addiction, I’m talking health problem addiction.  When I realized that I could change and was in control of my body, it was I had found a new power and I decided to abuse that power. I started to slowly eat less, cutting out certain food groups and exercise more and more intensely. what made me healthy, was starting to make me unhealthy. I started to do day fasts as well, for those of you not knowing what a “fast”, it means not eating for a certain amount of time. This meant I would not eat, but still exercise and it got even worse as I’d not eat for a couple days. Looking back, I admit that this was anorexia. There have been times where I have passed out before but still kept going on with my unhealthy addiction. Being “the guy with the 6-pack” became my identity and I became obsessed with it.

2- years, the amount of time it took me to realized that I was living an unhealthy lifestyle. Guess you could say I’m a slow learner. I have had to struggle with body image for 2 years and I am still sometimes working through it. There was a point where I realized that my obsession began to affect my social life and that I could not always be living the way I was, starving myself and exercising for hours on end and not being able to go out with friends because they were not eating the healthiest of foods. Being healthy is one thing, but my life’s goal is not to be a model and even then, this was not the way to do it. Realizing this, I started to eat again, more consistently while making the right food choices.

170- pounds, my weight now. I guess things came full circle, but in a good way. Leaving university, I was 170-180 lbs. but in an unhealthy way, now I’m back at 170 lbs, but it’s a healthy 170. Weight is just a number, your relativity to gravity, but it is not who YOU are. A pound of fat and a pound of muscle are still a pound, but they are different. I have found that to balance health and life, that you cannot restrict yourself and become too obsessed. I gave up a couple of years, abstaining from certain foods that I love eating, thinking that ONE piece of sushi on white rice would make me gain back all the weight and that I would instantly lose my 6-pack (I may or may not still have one, only a certain person knows for sure), which it totally did not. Now I enjoy all foods in moderation, if I want dessert, I’ll have a slice of cheesecake, but not the whole cake, if I have sushi, I’ll choose the healthier kinds. This sounds like common sense, but it does not sound like it when you’re obsessed with your body image and have a fear of foods.

The last and very important number: 1- a very supportive lady by the name of Andriah, who has had to put up with all my nonsense. Andriah has seen my when I was at my heaviest and my lightest and was always my friend. She also showed that she cared about me when we would go out and she would make me amazing foods and we love cooking together too. She also had to kick my butt a couple of times to make me realize that what I was doing was unhealthy. I am very blessed to find Andriah.

There you have it, my health journey. A very long post, but I believe this is quite important to those on diets and trying to lose weight. My wish is for you to be healthy, to listen to YOUR body and to live your life the best way possible, which does mean being healthy so you can be the best YOU. It also means having dessert if you feel like it, but not overdoing it. As my mother likes to say “Everything in moderation.”

PS. I’m still kind of following Wholeness 40, but I went out with my high school friends with Andriah and I ate “no-no” foods, but like I said to Andriah: “What’s more important? Friends or a diet?”

Thanks for (hopefully) reading all of this and I’ll keep you guys posted!

– BPaL